I'm speaking to you--you, with the chewing gum and the smudgy fingers. Don't try to pretend your fingers aren't smudgy. They are leaving marks even now. It's okay. Smudgy fingers are quite allowed in the museum.

What museum, you ask? But surely you've heard already. You see, within these pages is a museum, and within the museum is a story of wondrous weirdness, of magic and monsters... and four of the most extraordinary children in the world.

Please... do not Feed the alligator boy.

What you will find in this book:

• A rather attractive bearded lady
• Several scandalous murders
• A deliciously disgusting Amazonian shrunken head
• Four extraordinary children with equally extraordinary abilities
• A quite loquacious talking bird

What you will NOT find in this book:

• An accountant named Seymour
• A never-ending line at the post office
• Brussel sprouts (shudder)
• A lecture on finishing all your homework on time
• A sweet, gooey story for nice little girls and boys.